I’m Raising My Grandchild in Virginia. What Help Can I Get?

Grandparents often step in before anyone has time to make a plan.

Your grandchild needs somewhere safe, so you make room. Then the questions arrive. Can I get help with everyday costs? Who can make medical and school decisions? What happens if DSS is involved? Am I a kinship caregiver? Do I need to become a foster parent? The answer depends on how your grandchild came to live with you and who has legal custody. That distinction matters because different arrangements entail different rights, responsibilities, and levels of support.

First, work out what arrangement you have

If your grandchild is living with you through an informal family arrangement, your options will look different from a grandparent caring for a child who is in foster care. Virginia also uses the Parental Child Safety Placement Program in some cases. It allows a parent to choose a relative or close family friend to temporarily care for a child, with LDSS involvement and approval, while the parent addresses safety concerns. The program can last up to 90 days. If the child enters foster care, a grandparent can be considered a kinship foster parent. Virginia law says local departments must first consider placement with a kinship foster parent when placing a child.

Ask about support, not just custody

Money is often one of the first worries, even when families are reluctant to say it aloud. Raising a child costs money. Ask the responsible agency what financial assistance, foster care maintenance payments, childcare, medical coverage and other services apply to your situation. Approved kinship foster parents in Virginia are eligible for foster care services connected with the placement. Other kinship arrangements have different benefit routes. Do not assume you are ineligible because you are the child’s grandparent. Ask for a clear explanation based on your actual arrangement.

Think about the longer term

A temporary arrangement can become longer than anyone expected. Ask what the current goal is for your grandchild and how you will be involved in planning. Reunification with parents remains a central goal of foster care when it can be achieved safely. In other cases, guardianship, including KinGAP for eligible children and caregivers, or adoption may eventually become part of permanency planning. You do not need to decide the child’s whole future on day one. You do need enough information to understand what may lie ahead.

You deserve support as a caregiver

Becoming a parent again can affect work, retirement, relationships, health, finances and the rest of your family. It can also bring grief and conflict when the child’s parent is your own son or daughter. Support should not begin and end with paperwork. Extra Special Parents works with foster and resource families across Virginia, providing preparation, casework, training and ongoing support. If your grandchild is entering foster care and you are considering becoming their kinship foster parent, ask how ESP can work alongside the child welfare team and your family.

Where Extra Special Parents fits

You stepped forward because this child is family. You should not have to work out every part of the foster care system alone. Talk to the child’s DSS worker about the exact arrangement and available benefits, and talk to Extra Special Parents if you need support around becoming and being a kinship foster parent.