WHAT DOES LGBTQIA+ MEAN FOR FOSTER AND ADOPTIVE PARENTS?
LGBTQ+ Youth in Foster Care
Did you know that about 30% of United States foster youth identify as LGBTQ+, and around 5% identify as transgender? Many of these young people come from families unable—or unwilling—to provide them with a safe, accepting home. Others are afraid to share their identity for fear of being bullied, rejected, or harmed.
If you're thinking about becoming a foster or adoptive parent, learning about diversity and LGBTQ+ identities is important. This knowledge will helps you offer a more inclusive, supportive, and loving home. This understanding can make all the difference to a child who just wants to be accepted and safe.
What Does LGBTQIA Stand For?
The History of LGBTQ
You may have heard people refer to the LGBTQ community, but what do all those letters mean?
Originally, the acronym adopted was just LGB—for lesbian, gay, and bisexual. The gay community sought a more inclusive reference and added "T" to recognize transgender people in LGBT. Over time, it evolved to include more identities.
Today, you’ll often see LGBTQIA+, the most inclusive version. Some people may still use LGBT or LGBTQ+. They are usually talking about the same group of people: anyone who is not cisgender and not heterosexual, or "straight."
LGBTQIA+ represents lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (or questioning), intersex, and asexual individuals. The plus symbol stands for all additional sexual orientations and gender identities.
Let’s break it down:
- L – Lesbian: A woman who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other women.
- G – Gay: A man who feels emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction towards other males.
- B – Bisexual: A person who is attracted to more than one gender. For example, a woman who is sexually attracted to both men and women.
- T – Transgender: Someone whose gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth.
- Q – Queer or Questioning: A broad, reclaimed term for anyone who is not heterosexual or cisgender; or someone exploring their identity.
- I – Intersex: A person born with physical sex characteristics that don’t fit typical definitions of male or female.
- A – Asexual: A person who feels little or no sexual attraction to others.
- + – Plus: Represents all other sexual orientations and gender identities not listed above.
Understanding Each Identity: LGBTQIA+
Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual (LGB)
These terms describe attraction of one person to another. Being bisexual means a person may feel attraction to people of more than one gender.
Why is the "B" significant for people who identify as bisexual? Individuals who identify as bisexual have encountered discrimination, even within the LGBTQ+ community. While the spectrum of identities has existed since the beginning of time, pop culture has misrepresented many of them. Today, we are more likely to see characters who are bisexual and who more accurately represent people who identify as LGBTQIA+.
Transgender and Non-Binary (T)
A transgender person’s gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. This may include a male transitioning to a female (MtF), a trans woman; or a female to male (FtM), a trans man. Whether a man or a woman, health care and gender affirming surgeries don't relabel people who identify as transgender.
Transgender includes people who identify as non-binary, gender fluid, or gender non-conforming. These individuals do not fit neatly into "male" or "female."
People identify as trans when their gender identity differs from their biological sex. It has nothing to do with their sexual activity or attraction. Transgender identity reflects who someone is, not who they’re attracted to.
Queer or Questioning (Q)
Some people use the word queer as an umbrella term to describe themselves, especially when they don’t fit into specific categories. While people once used it as a slur, many in the LGBTQ+ community have reclaimed it.
The word's history in English goes back to 1513. It referred to someone or something unusual or different. In 1914 the term's meaning had evolved to queer = homosexual. In the 1990s, "queer" became a term that includes many identities. It often represents gay pride in the community and among supporters. To some in the community, the term still represents a point of pain.
Questioning refers to individuals still exploring their identity and figuring out how they best identify. Providing a safe space during this exploration is one of the most powerful things a foster or adoptive parent can offer.
Intersex and Asexual (I, A)
Intersex individuals are born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit typical male or female definitions.
Intersex is natural, and there’s no one way to look or be intersex. Intersex people may have genitals that fit one gender. However, their hormones or internal organs may fit another gender. For example, a person may have been born with both ovarian and testicular tissues.
Today, many parents and doctors recognize that identity does not depend on anatomy. Instead of doing the simplest surgery at birth or early childhood, many wait for the child to grow up. They want the child to mature and make their own choices about surgery.
Asexual individuals experience little or no sexual attraction. You may hear asexual people referred to as "aces." Some asexual people may still form deep romantic relationships and lead fulfilling family lives. While disinterested in sex, they may have deep emotional feelings and bonds.
The Plus Sign (+)
The “plus” in LGBTQIA+ is a symbol of inclusion. It acknowledges that the spectrum of sexual orientation and gender identity is wide and still evolving. Terms like demisexual, pangender, or two-spirit fall under this umbrella.
Many gender identity terms refer to a place on the masculine or feminine spectrum of characteristics. A cisgender man may have feminine characteristics and a cisgender woman may have masculine characteristics.
Gender expression is deeply rooted in both assigned sex at birth and how individuals feel and see themselves. For some people, this remains fixed. For others, it's ever-changing.
More common identities include non-binary and gender fluid, which fall outside the gender binary male/female identity. Neither identifies strictly as one gender or another, and for some, their identity changes over time. When a person's identity is fluid over time, they may be gender queer. Likewise, gender non-conforming refers to any individual who doesn't fit the cultural heteronormative stereotype of societal expectation.
People often use "gender non-conforming" to refer to appearance and behavior rather than self-identity. People may feel gender dysphoria. This is a disconnect between how they feel inside and how their body looks outside. Many people today know about body dysphoria and eating disorders.
While the acronym is long, it cannot encompass all. The plus reminds us that everyone deserves respect, even if they don’t label themselves in a specific way.
Why This Matters in Foster Care
Gender identity and expression may appear at odds to others. Similarly, gender identity and sexual orientation do not go hand-in-hand. Every person remembers being a child and how important it was to fit in during various developmental years.
LGBTQ+ youth in foster care face higher risks of:
- Bullying and harassment
- Sexual assault
- Mental health struggles
- Rejection by caregivers
- Homelessness
- Suicidal thoughts or actions
According to The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ youth who have at least one affirming adult in their life are 40% less likely to attempt suicide. That adult could be you.
When you open your heart and home to a child, especially one who is LGBTQ+, your love can change their life. Your acceptance can even save their life.